Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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