everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
