I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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