Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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