im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
