You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
