sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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