mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize