Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
How external is "for external use only"?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize