Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Randomize
