Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
