to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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