It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize