Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
