u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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