Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
