Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
