why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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