So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize