She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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