i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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