ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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