grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
