Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so explain again why im purple
no
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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