Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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