Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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