Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
too bad you live with your parents still
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
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