Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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