I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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