i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
