accomplished twins. life is a go
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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