meet me or not, i'm out of control
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
