she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
