thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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