yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
