I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
