Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
