No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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