i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
