Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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