PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize