I'm eating all of the evidence.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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