Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
