How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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