butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
