I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
