I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
