Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
