YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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