It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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