party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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