Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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