break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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