am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
