I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
