if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
false alarm, still single
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
