There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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