just come out here and I will go home with you...
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
